My Mini United Nations

Published in The Packet

I expected my world to contract when I moved to Clarenville. Isn’t that a side effect of living in a small town? I hoped to meet Newfoundlanders, and gain appreciation for the culture of this province, but I didn’t expect to find much exposure to other cultures. How wrong I was!

Tomorrow my home will be flooded with 16 children (ages four and under) and nine moms for our weekly playgroup. These children will communicate with each other in English, Greek, Italian and Norwegian. Their families represent Newfoundland and Labrador, Ontario, the Southern and Midwestern U.S., Greece, France, Belize, the Philippines, Norway, Italy, and Croatia.  We are a mini United Nations of moms and kids joining together to achieve one common goal- a long, afternoon naptime caused by rambunctious international play.

The group grows as we meet new families entering the community. It has become my favorite resource for parenting information. We have fun sharing best parenting practices, commiserating about baby sleep schedules, discussing food and travel, and learning about the Town of Clarenville together.

Each week, a different mom hosts the group. The kids get a chance to socialize, eat healthy snacks, and play with someone else’s toys. The moms gab until around noon, when the advent of naptime approaches and the kids get sleepy and irritable.

Watching how these moms parent, talking to them about their experiences, and discussing cultural differences have been one of the highlights of my time here in Newfoundland.

I’ve learned that it is popular for babies and children in Nordic countries to nap outside, even in winter. Their moms believe kids will be healthier if exposed to fresh air and sunshine during sleep, no matter the temperature. I love this tradition. My daughter naps in her crib still, but it has encouraged me to open her windows more often and get her outside as often as possible.

I learned about another type of snoozing, this one spelled snusing, which is the act of placing a type of moist Scandinavian snuff under the upper lip. The nicotine is absorbed into the user’s blood through mucous membranes in the lip, and because the snuff isn’t spat or smoked, no one even knows if you are using it. I’m not about to start snusing, but the mom who does this talked about how difficult it was to quit when there is no social pressure to make you stop, because no one sees you doing it. I identified with this completely, when I thought of the stash of chocolate chips I keep hidden around the house for when I need my own secret fix.

The moms in the group often discuss the importance of balance. The subject surfaces when discussing the work hours our husbands keep. The work hours of the Canadians and Americans are much longer than the hours kept by the Europeans. Do long work hours signal dedication and hard work, or an unhealthy relationship with your family? Do shorter hours signal shiftlessness or a sign that happiness, health and family are higher priorities? Who knows? It is an interesting topic to mull over while your kids jump themselves to oblivion on a trampoline.

Perhaps the most important lesson I’ve learned from watching other moms interact with their kids is that my daughter is capable of more than I believe her to be. Many moms in the group were comfortable letting their kids wander at least 3 meters farther from them than I was comfortable with. Their kids were carried less, allowed to use a knife, encouraged to go down the eight-foot big kid slide, and to whirl on the merry-go-round. To me, these activities seemed inappropriate for a fourteen month old, but the kids in the group around her age managed these tasks (with supervision, of course) and did so without cutting or breaking any body parts. These kids are self-reliant and independent. I am willing to have a few silent heart attacks, while my daughter climbs to higher heights on the playground than I think she is ready for, because I know both she and I will be the better for it.

I am so grateful for my Clarenville mom group, for the wisdom and cultural exposure they impart, and for the little town that brought us all together.